Love Yourself?

I've heard it on numerous occasions: “As humans, we love ourselves too much. We're so prideful and arrogant.”

I've even heard that we should hate ourselves so that we can love others. I am dumbfounded by some of these statements. I believe that they are contrary to the Gospel that Jesus himself preached.

Matthew 22:37-40 states: Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Can you believe it? Love others as you love yourself. You are 100% commanded to love yourself!

However, I see where the confusion lies. We have no idea what love means!

Several years ago, I screwed up big time. Unfortunately this happens more than I would care to admit, and I was like, “How could you be so stupid? What were you thinking?” It was rough. I heard all those little voices in my head, and I was having a hard time shutting them up.

Then I heard the little whisper of Jesus. “Hey Andy, are you loving yourself right now?”

I was taken aback. I said, “Jesus, I don’t understand?”

He replied: “Are you being kind to yourself?”

“No,” I admitted.

Then He said: “You aren’t loving yourself because love is kind.”

That was followed by: "Are you being patient with yourself?"

Again, the answer was no.

"You're not loving yourself because love is patient.”

He asked: "Are you keeping a record of your wrongs?”

I replied, "Absolutely! How else am I supposed to behave?”

This was His final comment: "You aren’t loving yourself! Love keeps no records of wrongs.”

At that moment, I was done. In a matter of a few seconds, Jesus destroyed the shame and condemnation that I was under. He set me free.

I began to recognize this pattern throughout my life, and I saw that the shame and harshness that I was living under were never setting me free, but keeping me in bondage. I also recognized that the time span in which I was harsh on myself was getting smaller and smaller.

Over time, I realized that I was loving myself better. One of my favorite quotes says:

Love others as you love yourself. But if you hate yourself, leave others alone.

It makes me laugh every time I stop and think about it.

The reality is that other people are mirrors of our own behavior. I've spoken to many parents who see this in their children. I also see it in others. Some of the people who have driven me the craziest are the people who mirror one of my behaviors that I absolutely despise about myself.

I found that after learning to love myself, I was better at loving others too!