Offended by Language

Something I've noticed living in a foreign country for the last couple of years is that language is offensive. Our words have power that we don’t even recognize. Sometimes my wife says simple things that drive me crazy - but English is her second language. It's not her fault. It's actually mine, and I've determined that I need to grow up. What upsets me is that she doesn’t say something exactly like I want her to, and the fact that we've missed each other many times by simply using words the other person doesn’t understand.

Let me give you some examples. She will use the phrase "warm top", and that's a sweatshirt or a jacket. Or she'll say "boot", which refers to the trunk of a car. Also, in South Africa, people will say: “You must do this!” Now in the United States, telling someone they must do something doesn’t always go over well. So when my wife says this to me, my initial thought is, “Don’t tell me what to do!” But what she really means, is: “That's a great idea! I really think you should do it!”

For some reason, people have to say things exactly like I want them to because of my ridiculous need to be right. I think this is probably a defense mechanism of some sort. Why does it feel like I'm going to die when they don't comply?

I've carefully constructed everything I believe that helps keep me afloat in this sea of chaos we call the world, and if your words are different than mine, then I may drown. I have this feeling that I've built my house on the sand, and your words are a storm that just knocks my house down. But if I'm so stuck in my ways, I can never walk in any kind of repentance. I'm not teachable, and I'm probably not that much fun to be around when I'm like this.

I need to grow up, and open my heart to people that are different from me. I really need to recognize the person’s heart in what's being said. Because the reality is that I'm the only one who thinks exactly like I do. I think it’s time that we begin to have a little bit of grace for people who don’t speak exactly like us, and stop being so sensitive.

It's time to grow up!